DEVIANT TRAILER | Suspiria (2018)

So...the new trailer for the Suspiria  remake dropped this morning...and, ladies and Deviants...let me tell you...the hyperbole for this one is off the goddamn charts.

Before I dig my hairy-armed claws into this trailer...allow me to pontificate on the importance of the original film...from which this new version exists. Because without the original...Signore Guadagnino would most likely be off somewhere else shooting some other buzz worthy art house film. You see...back in...ohhh...say...1973-ish, Maestro Argento wanted to steer away from his usual Italian giallo thrillers that he was quickly becoming known for. Instead...he delved into his version of an Italian comedy. It bombed. Not because it was bad, mind you. I've seen's alright. But, because no one wanted a comedy from a master of provocative horror cinema. So...being the creative little auteur that he is...Argento went back into what he knew best and created perhaps the very best giallo film ever made...with Profondo Rosso. For his next project...Argento wanted to, again, do something a bit different from his usual stuff...having perfected the giallo model with Deep Red. So...he focused his energies...taking from what he knew and understood and painted the cinematic canvas red once again. This time creating something familiar...and so fucking out of left field...all at once. Suspiria  will most likely go down as his most acclaimed masterpiece. It is a film that both takes the giallo genre even further into waters that we've never known before...and creates something unique...something that we've both never seen and heard before. Especially back in those days. Dario Argento cemented his name in Italian genre well as laid down a whole new blueprint for filmmakers to follow and carve their own path...from the one that he, himself, forged. Well...with the vital help of Daria Nicolodi, of course. Anyway...1977's Suspiria  stands as a masterpiece in creative filmmaking. Nothing will ever change that. NOTHING.

Fast forward to 2018...

Take it away press release:
"As a darkness builds at the center of a world-renown dance company, its artistic director (Tilda Swinton), a young American new to the troupe (Dakota Johnson), and a grieving psychotherapist become entangled in a bloody, sighing nightmare."

Well...ok. What did you guys think...huh??

Are you giving this film a chance? Or...are you damning the fucking thing for ever existing in the first place? Tough call...huh? On the one want to be impressed with the impeccable cinematography and marvel at the gorgeous eye candy...while also complimenting the impressive soundscapes that Thom Yorke whipped up...and the striking performances gleaned from a one and a half minute collection of images. However...on the other want to scoff at the lack of colors used in the imagery...and revel in the nostalgia that you identify with thus creating an automatic barrier between you and this new presentation in remake form. It's all an emotional struggle, I tell ya. 

If I may offer a few words...

Personally...I feel like this fucking remake was going to be made...regardless of everyone's wishes---including a tired Argento who just can't care anymore about a money-greedy filmmaking system. So...if the film had to be made...what better hands to leave it in than the talented ones of Italian filmmaker Luca Guadagnino, who understands and respects the relevance of Argento's masterpiece. Honestly, I would have preferred that they left Suspiria  alone from any kind of reboot/remake/rewhatever plans...but, it is what it is...and Guadagnino feels like the right person for this. Also...if you were to cast an amazing list of talents for this film...why not the ones already presented in this film? I mean...Tilda Swinton and Mia Goth, alone...have my ears perked. Not to mention the inclusion of Jessica Harper. I mean...I know...I know...Dakota Johnson and Chloe Grace Moretz are in this. But...I'm still holding out that those two are actually great actors when they need to be. Ok...ok...yeah...I know...I've seen some of the Fifty Shades  stuff and I am aware of The 5th Wave  and Neighbors 2. But...have you seen The Equalizer? Chloe is great in that. And don't you remember "Hit Girl" from Kick-Ass? And...come on...Dakota was great in A Bigger Splash, guys! And that one was Guadagnino's, he definitely knows how to direct her. can't deny that this trailer is a good one. Take away all of the Suspiria  stuff (including that stupid fucking title logo)...and this looks provocative and creepy in the best of ways. However...judging by all of the negativity going around for this trailer so far...this new film has MAMMOTH Italian shoes to fill. I guess we'll all find out on November 2nd...if it does just that.

Thanks for reading,