Wednesday, April 30, 2014

BLOODY STREAMS with Matt Dean

Ladies and Deviants...welcome to BLOODY STREAMS.







Babysitter Wanted (2008)


I was recently reading an article titled “The Most Badass Babes of Horror” and this film was on the list. Not only had I not heard of it, but I wasn't particularly interested in watching it either; the babysitter in dire straits plot has been done and done numerous times and the later the date of the film – the more familiar they felt. However, it was one of the only films on the list that I had actually not seen and there it was: right on YouTube. It was a sign, right? I love horror. I love Badass Babes. I love free movies. So, with the trepidation of a five year old walking down a long hallway at night, I started watching. If you read Bloody Streams regularly then you know I think every film has a skeleton. The basic building blocks of how it can be categorized, but it’s the meat and muscle of the film that really provide what it should be remembered for. While the skeleton of this film is indeed the stalked babysitter, the meat of the film gives it its merit and solidifies it as a great genre film. I almost don't even want to give you any more information because, since it is such a familiar plot, it really needs to be experienced fresh. Don’t even watch a trailer.







Here Comes the Devil (2012)


If you stay current with Film Deviant then you are well aware of the love we have for this film. I FINALLY got to see it when it arrived on Netflix last week and, I'm here to tell you, it more than lived up to its reputation. The film centers on a family of four: a mother, a father, a son and a daughter. One day while taking a hike in the local mountain area, the kids go missing and ultimately turn up the next day. But, they're different somehow. They both draw pictures of weird happenings during their absence, strange noises begin plaguing the house on a nightly basis and just an all-around unnerving feeling follows them wherever they go. The film builds into a crazy trip into the mouth of madness. It’s hard to categorize this film. It has elements of paranormal, possession, suspense, body horror and they all work so well together. Usually when a film is built up so much I find myself being disappointed, but this really did surprise me at how much I enjoyed it. Please, if you haven't seen this yet, give it a spin.






The Human Centipede (2009),
The Human Centipede 2 (2011)


Deviant-wise, it doesn't get much better than THC 1  and 2. This is some sick shit. The first film, about an insane doctor (played incredibly well and creepy by Dieter Laser) whose dream it is to sew three people from ass to mouth, creating one large intestinal tract. That’s right, feed one, the next shits to feed the other and the next shits to feed the other. Touted as 100% medically accurate, the film is truly believable. Beyond that, the acting is superb, the cinematography is beautiful, the shots are sleek, the colors pop; it’s the deviant film that no one in Hollywood was expecting to be such a hit. The second film, this time touted as 100% medically inaccurate, is the total opposite of the first. The film is in black and white, the shots are really dark; the entire thing just keeps you on edge, but it works. It may even be more effective than the first. The killer here (Also played amazingly creepy by Laurence R. Harvey) is obsessed with the first movie and, despite not having any medical training, decides to build a centipede of his own; this time with 12 people. I won’t lie, I almost threw up a couple of times in this movie. Thankfully I was watching from the comfort of my living room, but it was close. The savageness of it all, the insanity, the dirtiness, it was all a lot to take in at one time. But it’s worth it. 100% worth it. With the 3rd film, involving a prison and a 500-person centipede in post-production, I cannot wait to see what depravities we’re all in store for. 






Oldboy (2003)


Ok, I’m only going to mention this once: watch this version of Oldboy  and not the regurgitated piece of garbage that Spike Lee mimed his way through. Matter of fact, just act like you don’t even know that version exists at all. Good? Deal? Groovy, let’s move on. Oldboy  is one of the best foreign films to come out in the new millennium. Equal parts revenge thriller, gory horror/violent epic and mystery. After a night of heavy drinking, the main character Dae-su Oh, wakes up in what seems to be a dimly-lit hotel room. There’s just one catch: he can’t get out. The doors are locked from the outside, the windows are just facades; he has a television, a bed and a restroom. He’s given dumplings and a bottle of liquor daily and this is how it goes…for 15 whole years. His fear turns to despair and his despair turns to aggression. One day he’s gassed and set free with money and a cell phone. But, why was he set free and who did this to him? This is the journey Dae-su must go on. With an unbelievably cool hallway fight scene, some pretty grotesque gore and a twist-ending that would trump any Shyamalan film, Oldboy  is not to be missed.






Matt, Signing Out



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