Thursday, December 5, 2013

BLOODY STREAMS with Matt Dean

Bloody Streams is here again to share the love of free/cheap horror. I hope all of you deviants out there had a great holiday and no one was injured trying to shop-til-you-drop. We've got some good movies this week. Full of blood, humor, monsters and..............corn. Yeah, sounds weird typing that out. 'Tis true though. Enjoy this weeks Bloody Streams....






I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2013)


The original I Spit on Your Grave, or Day of the Woman  as some people refer to it as, was probably my first rape/revenge movie that I had to endure; maybe Last House on the Left. It was rough to see as a youngster. After Irreversible (Which features an un-flinching 8 minute rape scene that never seems to let up and never lets you look away) I realize how tame ISOYG  really was, but it’s still not something I will ever enjoy sitting through. That’s why I didn’t necessarily think it needed a remake or that I would enjoy a remake. Well, I ended up watching and really liking the 2010 version. I think because the payback she gave was so much better in the new one. She kicked some major ass. Taking it a step further, when I heard about this movie I thought, Jesus H Christ, how big is the market for these movies. I hadn’t planned on watching it. But, being the Film Deviant that I am, I had to watch it for you guys, to see if it’s worth your time. And, it’s not horrible. There are worse ways to spend two hours. It’s not a direct sequel; it’s just another incident where this occurs. What is different about this movie is the gore. This movie is brutal. She really gives them their comeuppance. And of course they more than deserve it. It just feels unneeded. Where the first movie was making a statement about the mistreatment of women in society, this is just shock for shock’s sake. Like I said, it’s not bad, but if you’re squeamish, you may want to give this one a pass.










Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)


One of my favorite elements from horror films is the comedy. Sometimes it’s intentional (Army of Darkness, Cabin in the Woods, Scream) and other times it’s not so intentional (Pieces, Troll 2, The Apparition). Sometimes it helps to elevate a shitty plot and effects to a bearable level and sometimes it actually takes some of the frightening edge off and enables your body to relax before being jolted again. Tucker and Dale  rests comfortably in the purposefully funny category. It follows the titular duo as they take what was meant to be a nice and relaxing mini-vacation to a cabin in the woods. Drink some beer, fish, eat; get back to the basics of their friendship. Things go south when a group of hard-partying, sex-having frat kids comes to the area looking for a good time. Because Tucker and Dale are bumbling idiots, when the kids start to accidentally die in their vicinity – the kids think they’re at the mercy of two redneck maniacs. As the duo tries to convince them that they’re not that, the group tries to escape. The kills are great and the normally stale subject matter is given new blood (pun intended) being looked at through the comedic eye. It’s really nice when a movie doesn’t take itself too seriously and also gives everyone what they want in the blood and scares. Enjoy it; they don’t come around very often.










Jeepers Creepers (2001)


I love this movie; the look, the feel, the acting, the soundtrack, the monster. If you’ve never been introduced to the creeper before, you’re missing out. As a brother and sister are driving home from college (going the back way, of course) they run into an asshole in a panel van. He honks at them, tries to run them off the road, tailgates, slams on the brakes in front of them; he terrorizes them, basically. The kids don’t take him seriously enough and soon realize that this person is not to be messed with and that this “person” may not be a person at all. I won’t say any more, but it’s a great monster movie that spawned a ‘not quite as good, but not too bad’ sequel and a third was just announced a few weeks back. It looks like the creeper is here to stay.









Stephen King’s Children of the Corn (1984)


If you didn’t get enough corn for Thanksgiving then here’s your fill. Stephen King leaves his oft-used literary town/muse of Castlerock and moves the events of this story to Nebraska where a group of children murder adults as a means of making their crops grow more. As with most of King’s works though, an outsider gets mixed up in all of the drama and has to fight for their survival. In this instance, it’s Linda Hamilton. She brought the leader of the rebellion, John Connor, into this world for Christ’s sake; they shoulda known not to mess with her. (Terminator  jokes belong in any situation) The film spawned 7 sequels, about six of which you can find on Netflix or YouTube. I’ve only included the links for the original, and by far best, installment. Enjoy and remember, whatever you sow, that you shall also reap.







Matt, Signing Out


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