Monday, December 17, 2012

DOOMSDAY WEEK: Surviving Zombies


There have been several theories over the years as to how the world might end. But, what if Romero was right? What if all those zombie movies that you've watched growing up were a way of preparing you for a real-life Zombie Apocalypse. Would you be ready for it?

Most people would probably answer "FUCK YEAH!" to that question, even tho most of those people wouldn't be able to find the safety mechanism on a Glock 30. That whole cocksure movement in today's pop culture is pretty much fueled by shows like The Walking Dead  as well as Toyota commercials that provide a certain sense of familiarity for the majority of the audience. It's that Karate Kid  syndrome all over again...this time served on prime time. Fiction injecting you with an overload of overconfidence...until the real thing hits you. And while there are certainly exceptions to the all important rule (you know who you are), most of you reading this would probably start crying in a fetal position if you walked in on your mother eating your little sister's intestines. So, may this serve as a sort of "starter kit" for zombie survival....just in case.

As a fellow fan of horror films who has seen way more zombie films than necessary, I will be the first to admit that if I walked in on my wife eating our French Bulldog...I would most certainly scream like a little girl. Even tho I'm pretty well versed in how to handle such a situation (thanks to many years of watching horror movies), my human reflexes are pretty much conditioned to relegate such a scenario to fantasy. Quick thinking might not necessarily come into play until we've absorbed the situation fully. So, I won't blame you if you are suddenly frozen in fear at such a horrific site. So, you would have to approach such a scenario as one would approach walking in on a raccoon eating your garbage. Cautiously and defensively, while saving those tears for a lost loved one later, you would need to control the situation immediately in order to ensure self preservation.


It might not be a bad idea to have a Survival Kit tucked away somewhere safe...yet accessible. Personally, I have a duffel bag stored away with the necessary tools (including a shōtō, as well as a few hand guns) in the event things went south in my happy home. It might also be a good idea to have a safe meeting place to huddle in until you can sort things out for a more long term plan. Such a place might include non-perishables and clean water.

The following excerpt is pulled straight off the CDC's blog:

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.

Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and farther away

1.Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.

2.Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.

3.Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.

4.Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.
 
It should be noted that the CDC doesn't fuck around when it comes to worldly threats of diseases and such. So, neither should you. You can go HERE for the rest of the CDC's prevention tips...where you might want to print out a hard copy, in case we all go off the grid. There are several resources that you can look to on the worldwide web in order to help you with your zombie escape plan. Preparing For Zombies is one such site full of useful information that might save your life one day.

According to the cocaine-loving Mayans, the world is supposed to end this Friday. Maybe at the hands of the undead? Who knows? Wouldn't you want to prepare yourself...just in case?



Thanks for reading,

bryan.




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