31 DAYS OF MICHAEL MYERS: Rapper's Delight

Looking back at both Halloween H20  and Halloween: Resurrection, I can't help but think how the producers didn't somehow work The Shape into a rap video or two.

Hip-hop artists in horror films are nothing new. In fact the pairing can be seen throughout the last decade with DMX showing up in vampire films or Big Daddy Kane gettin' the job done against a zombie outbreak. Even when you consider films like Tales From the Hood  or Leprechaun in the Hood, it's pretty easy to see the two mediums co-existing in a harmonious melding of two genres known for their darker elements. Which is why someone somewhere decided to combine these two elements into Michael Myers' backyard.
Now, we'll start off with the better of the two films with Halloween H20. While it is not quite a great film by any measure, it can be seen as one of the better sequels in the franchise. After all, Jamie Lee Curtis decided to come back for this installment.
In another one of those...."I wonder what that could've been like" moments, John Carpenter was actually attached to direct H20  and Debra Hill's involvement in the film was actually something that was realistic. However, after producer Moustapha Akkad balked at Carpenter's asking pay of 10 million big ones, it was not meant to be. So, Carpenter decided to go on to direct Vampires, instead and we were left with an ok entry into the Halloween  mythos.

Apparently, Laurie Strode faked her own death in order to elude the malevolent stalking of The Shape, as is told in the script written by Scream  scribe, Kevin Williamson. Strode lives far away now in northern California under the alias "Kerri Tate". Unfortunately for her, Michael has a bus pass. So, he eventually finds her and they duel to the death. Enter Ladies' Love Cool James as a security guard with porno aspirations who gets his ass accidentally shot. However, because it was probably in his contract to not go out like a chump, he re-appears later on in the film...ala Deep Blue Sea  to save the day. Sort of.

Thankfully, Cool J didn't record a tie-in track entitled "My Head is Like a Shatner Mask". He waited until his next film for that.

This really isn't a terrible movie, per se, but there are certain elements that kind of take you out of the story. Like, for instance, his inane-looking mask. Jesus, man....this film had a goddamn 17 million dollar budget! How hard was it for the filmmakers to create an authentic-looking Shatner mask instead of fucking the look up once again and then CGI'ing the mask after complaints??! It's like the producers only cared about huge box office earnings. It's like Moustapha Akkad had no soul when he walked the earth.

Still, H20  has its fans and really isn't as much a low point as the next film in the series.

5 years later Halloween: Resurrection  was released into theaters and brought its post-production re-shoots and Bus a Bus with it, otherwise known by backpackers everywhere as Busta Rhymes.

There's really not much to say about this entry...other than....WHY?? I mean, the plot is dumb, the acting is horrendous and everything just seems so goddamn...unnecessary and uninspiring. At least Mr. Rhymes' story arc feels remotely interesting as he plays an Internet reality show host who embarks on an unsanctioned journey into the Myers home to find out what went wrong with Michael. He even brings Tyra Banks along for the ride! It's really the only portion of the film that feels organic and provides an interesting and fresh idea that just sort of runs out of gas after you realize the lameness of the entire film.

Even Laurie Strode's character feels like a blasphemous inkling of a subplot just thrown in to satisfy Jamie Lee Curtis' contract or something. The whole thing just feels all wrong. Like some dickhead who has never seen a frame of John Carpenter's Halloween  was in charge of the whole thing.

It was just a bad time for the franchise. If felt like a punch in the gut to Michael Myers fans everywhere. Even the last shot of the film felt insipid and stale. Then...finally...when Resurrection  failed to resurrect the iconic Michael Myers and desperation settled in, the studio reached out to a Zombie.