I just got home after traveling nearly non-stop for four months. When I first figured out that I was going to have to cut into my two months of Halloween (I start celebrating September 1st every year to maximize the season), I did what any lunatic would do: I used part of my travel advance for work to order a bunch of cool horror stuff online so that I would be welcomed home (and welcomed into fall) by a ton of packages that I almost forgot I spent real money on.

Well, that day was today. I opened up package after package and it was like Christmas in September except that I bought all the presents for myself and it’s still 90 fucking degrees outside.
After gorging on some good old American food after spending the last few weeks in Belize and dancing around my apartment to Psychedelic Furs and Jawbreaker (total fall music, right?), I spread out all my packages as I readied myself to take pictures…then got distracted by Breaking Bad streaming on Netflix. Goddamn this show. I can’t stop watching it, but I need to so I can go on with my previously scheduled fall programming. Usually, I make a list of movies I want to watch each Halloween season. Some are ones I own, some are ones I need to seek out. I craft this list each year as if it really truly matters, as if I am scheduling some movie theater program for genre fans. If I know I have a free weekend, I consider which movies would work well as double features. I really need an intervention.
Anyway, here’s one of the things I forgot I won on eBay (and definitely overpaid for, I’m sure):

An Incredible Melting Man  super 8 film! I have exactly zero ways to ever watch this, but I think it’s awesome. I have a daybill for this movie sitting around in some poster tube somewhere. I got it as part of a lot when I was trying to get every Creepshow  poster ever created. The IMM  daybill is really cool and if I ever get a windfall of cash, I will pay to get it framed up real nice.


My dad has a pretty cool collection of movies consisting mostly of every black and white creature feature that is possibly available on DVD. He also loves Perry Mason, Sherlock Holmes, horror anthologies, and SyFy originals, making him a real cool dad to have. Every time I come home to visit, we go through what he has gotten in the mail and have movie marathons.
While I was poking around his collections, I found these cut boxes that we got years ago at a 2nd Cinema that was going out of business. Blood Freak has the distinction of being one of the absolute shittiest movies I have ever seen…and I’ve watched it twice. The narrator (and director!), played by Brad Grinter, just coughs and hacks his way through his monologue, making this completely painful to watch for the most part. I want to find his other films, Devil Rider  and Flesh Feast, to “enjoy.”
Here’s the description of Blood Freak:
A biker comes upon a girl with a flat tire and offers her a ride home. He winds up at a drug party with the girl’s sister, then follows her to a turkey farm owned by her father, a mad scientist. The father turns the biker into a giant turkey monster who goes after drug dealers.
…what? It is as bad as it sounds. Seek this piece of shit out. Something Weird Video released it on DVD.
I remember renting Hospital Massacre and The Nest when I was little at this video store. Kind of cool that my dad bought the copies we used to rent. I’m taking these back to my house since my dad had them buried under a pile of Twilight Zone's and he’ll never notice. Thanks, Dad!




All of these were one dollar each, with the exception of Spookies  and Death Row Diner  which were awesome gifts. I have more copies of Troll 2, but one dollar? I can’t say no. I was psyched to get Ghoul School (which I also have on DVD because this piece of shit should be owned on all formats) and School Spirits because I love dumb horror comedies with a high school plot. I’ll probably give my werewolf-obsessed dad The Legend of the Werewolf. Dead Pit  had the light up push cover, but the face was busted even though the eyes were still there. Video store memories!



Speaking of Halloween...

I love Elvira. So much. I have two Elvira big boxes, t-shirts, bootlegs of her hosting Halloween specials on MTV, and a six foot stand up. I really like a lot of horror hosts, but I remember watching her when I was little and thinking she was funny and insane (two of my favorite character traits). She is my default Halloween costume: