Friday, April 20, 2012

Words From A Deviant...


 
(Warning: May Contain Spoilers)


The Cabin in the Woods opened recently to critical praise. However, the few haters in the audience that wrote negative reviews took it upon themselves to piss in everyone else's Coco Puffs by spoiling the whole goddamn film for their readers. So, it got us thinking over here at the almighty offices of the ever-powerful Film Deviant. Do we even care anymore about spoilers?

I, for one, am on the fence about this. Here...let me explain.

The Cabin in the Woods actually wrapped production back in late 2009 and was slated to be released to horror fans in February of 2010. Well, MGM went bankrupt and Cabin got shelved for a couple of years. Until, Lionsgate ultimately picked up the distro rights and released the film unto the world in April of 2012. That's 3-ish goddamn years! Now...when you have a writing genius like Joss Whedon taking the ropes in screenwriting and an interesting director in Drew Goddard sharing writing credits and helming a film that is said to turn the horror genre upside down....how could you not want to learn more about such an intriguing project?! Well...patient I stayed all the way until finally watching the film for myself this past April. Trust me...I wanted to click on the half-dozen or so sites I found online that practically gave everything away. But, I stayed the course and eventually went on to be surprised and entertained on my own.


Now...what if I were to tell you that a big demonic donkey flies into the cabin towards the end of the film and devours every male penis in the film? If you still haven't seen The Cabin in the Woods...that would suck for you huh? The fact that I didn't even put a spoiler warning before this paragraph and ruined the surprise of a demonic cock-eating donkey for you before you even had an idea of what was going on.

Don't worry...I was just conducting an experiment...there is no dick-devouring demonic donkey in The Cabin in the Woods. The point I'm trying to make here is that it is crucial for the integrity of the writer and the entertainment website to be responsible to it's readers. I feel that you and I have built a solid foundation since Film Deviant first opened its doors last year. You come back here for the "witty banter" and I promise not to spoil key plot elements of the films we review for you. Simple...isn't it? A relationship forged in trust. However, there are places on the website that will blatantly c-block you from having a good time at your local cineplex. I'm not gonna list those places here...because, we don't believe in finger-pointing. But, I will say that the usual culprits usually don't even know what the fuck they're talking about or writing about...so, they tend to Wikipedia certain parts of their reviews in order to make sense of it all...all the while laying out detail after detail of what they just saw. A sort of cliff-notes approach, if you will.

Now...having said that. I'm a HUGE comic book geek. So, it goes without saying that I seriously canNOT wait for The Avengers movie to come out. So, I went ahead and googled certain things about that film and pretty much spoiled the entire film for myself. Including the mid-credits surprise. But...I don't care...I'll still be there on opening day watching the film with salivating mouth agape along with all the other geeks. Why?? Why the hell would I do such a thing?? Ruin the entire experience for myself, despite what I just said up above? Well...human nature can be a tricky thing...and so can the nature of film. Especially when you take genres into account.


Action and fantasy can always be "ruined". In fact, unless there's an integral reveal somewhere in the plot...ala the villain actually being a friend of our hero, then...you should still be able to enjoy watching the rest of the film without an issue. Especially when it's such a hugely-budgeted comic book film filled with so much other eye candy to hold your attention. For example...that whole Darth Vader/father subplot blew everyone's mind when Empire Strikes Back first came out. Imagine what that would've been like if you read something somewhere explaining in detail what Vader was about to reveal before even watching the film. Would've sucked, right? But, I bet you would've still been in that theater watching the awesomeness of Empire (pre-CGI, of course).

Horror, on the other hand, is a much trickier pony to ride. The entire film can depend solely on that "big reveal". Say, for instance, if you knew the end of The Sixth Sense before going into that film. Would the rest of the film even matter? Not really. I mean...you may enjoy it because your a huge Haley Joel Osment fan or whatever...but, you will never enjoy the whole...intention of the film. You'll never really be able to get that scare in that particular film. It's almost like someone telling you that they're gonna go around the corner and hide...then, jump out and scare you before you even approach that corner.

Now...there are always exceptions. I don't necessarily think that The Cabin in the Woods is a film that best exemplifies my point here. The film pretty much unveils the "spoiler" within the first half hour...so, there's no real "reveal" moments. They let you in on the joke early on in order for you to see the broader picture they're painting for you. Now...a film like Se7en would almost be impossible to attain that same punch in the solarplexis if someone were to tell you what the fuck is in that box before you even watch a single frame of that film.

Picking up what I'm laying down?


I wonder, though...what would be considered a true spoiler in a time when most trailers pretty much spoil the entire film anyway? Remember that one Carrie trailer that pretty much gave away the entire movie? The Contagion trailer pretty much revealed that Gwyneth Paltrow was a goner...the doctor even said it twice (just in case you didn't hear him). Now...don't get me wrong, there are film studios that do remember the importance of subtlety. I didn't know what Inception was about when I first watched the trailer...but, it made me wanna sell my first born to see it. Remember the first trailer for The Matrix where Morpheus basically told us that no one can be told what the matrix is...you just have to see it for yourself? Genius.

Hell...even movie posters these days share some important plot elements in the art. We live in a world now where social media is everywhere so, it's becoming harder to keep secrets. Fast Five was ruined for me last year when I checked out my Facebook only to see one of my excited friends giving away the credits scene. There was no spoiler warning or anything. Just someone who was super stoked at the film they just watched proclaiming what he saw.

In the end. Yes...it is important to always go into a film not knowing the full surprise in which to be fully entertained as the events unfold on the screen in front of you. Unless, of course, you're a bonehead like me and HAVE to know if some key character dies in the new Avengers movie. Ultimately, it is solely up to you...the viewer...if you want to go into any film experience already knowing what happens. Either way, we work hard here at Film Deviant to review films without giving away the major plot elements in which to give you a responsible critique on what you are about to experience.


Why? Well...because we love you, silly.




Wouldn't it be cool if there was a zombie version of The Avengers movie?


Thanks for reading,

bryan.

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