Words From a Deviant...

There's been many, many horror sites out there covering every breaking news on the inevitable Evil Dead remake. We're not gonna do that here. I mean, don't get me wrong...we would love to run a breaking story on some of the latest news regarding perhaps the biggest remake the genre has seen since Dawn of the Dead. It would definitely help our internet traffic around here. However, today we're gonna offer some help for the filmmakers undergoing the daunting task of rebooting one of the biggest titles that horror has ever seen. Come...join us.

Ok...so, if you're like us then you most likely have grown up with the Evil Dead franchise and you hold it very dear to your heart. You can probably quote every single line Ash has spoken since the first film and you've probably listened to the commentary track on the Evil Dead 2  disc many times over. So, it goes without saying that as soon as the news broke about the remake...fans were somewhat apprehensive to show any kind of reaction. The first thing that popped into our heads was: Well is Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell gonna be a part of this reboot??

The news has been around for a while now...popping up as early as almost two decades ago in the form of a sequel. Also, in the form of a Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash film that, apparently, is still in the minds of film producers somewhere. Although, I couldn't see that ever happening given the firm stipulation by the Raimi/Campbell camp that Ash would have to win. I don't see the other franchises agreeing to a film where Ash kicks both Freddy's and Jason's collective asses. And the proposed sequel lost steam after the whole Spiderman/Hobbit debacle. Especially after Raimi chose Oz: The Great and Powerful as his next project. So, now we're left with this remake.

The good news is that Sam Raimi, Bruce Campell, Robert Tapert and (maybe) Greg Nicotero will all be involved in this new remake of The Evil Dead. The bad news is that there is a new remake of The Evil Dead. So, because we realize genre insiders visit our little site from time to time, we here at Film Deviant would like to offer to the filmmakers 5 easy steps to ensure that the new remake will not suck.

5 Ways to Ensure That the New Evil Dead Remake Does Not Suck:

1. The Diablo Cody Factor: Ok, I'm not gonna pretend to be comfortable with this one. But, the choice of bringing on Diablo Cody as a screenplay writer scares me more than anything on this list. While, I admit to being a casual fan of some of her work (as well as some of her hotness), Cody displays a sort of quirky fun in her writing style that gets annoying really fast. Now, I have read some of the quotes she's made recently regarding her work on The Evil Dead remake...which goes like this (courtesy of Collider):

Cody: I know, honestly I was so excited to do it. I wouldn’t have even gotten involved if Sam [Raimi] and Bruce Campbell hadn’t been involved as well, they’re producing it, and so of course I was like “Alright I have to do this” because I’m such a fan of the original, and the whole original series in fact. But I was nervous to take the job because I thought “Ugh, I’m gonna get shit for this. People are not gonna like this, because all people know of me is like Juno and they think I’m gonna pollute Evil Dead with like wacky dialogue and cute stuff and folk music, and it’s like “No, look I understand what this is. I’m interested in storytelling here and making it scary and good and true to the original.” I feel like people will hopefully see Young Adult and go “Oh, okay that’s a horrifying movie maybe she could pull it off (laughs).”

So, I am somewhat at ease by this little reveal of her writing for the remake. However, watching the trailer for Young Adult has me cringing at the possibilities of her fucking up the whole Evil Dead  movie. I'm not sure what Cody means by Young Adult being "a horrifying movie"...but, the trailer looks pretty stupid...filled with her patented funny-hah-hah dialogue. So...it is imperative that the filmmakers keep a significantly short leash on Diablo Cody.

2. THE HARD R: When Sam Raimi announced that Drag Me to Hell was going to be PG-13...you could almost hear all of the horror fans groaning in unison. So, if this remake has any kind of rating other than a hard R...it will not work. Now, Drag Me to Hell  was a fine film for what it was. Basically, Raimi's return to the genre after almost a decade of fucking around with a comic book character. It was a sort of jumping back into the shallow side of the pool...just to work out some of the old rust that he's accumulated after abandoning horror for profitable web-headed pastures. So, it was ok for a Drag Me to Hell to be rated PG-13...but, no way in fucking hell can The Evil Dead remake...or any Evil Dead film for that matter, be anything other than Rated R...unless, of course, it's unrated. So...make sure the remake is a HARD R.

3. The Fede Alvarez Factor: Sam Raimi and co. basically hand-picked Fede Alvarez upon watching his short film Panic Attack. Now, I'm not one to say that Alvarez is incapable of creating a great entry into the Evil Dead universe...because, well...that remains to be seen. I mean...Sam Raimi's first feature film, after a bunch of great short films, was the original The Evil Dead. So, who knows...Alvarez might be a perfect choice for the remake. I mean, he pretty much penned the entire screenplay after being chosen as director. On the other hand...he could suck.

I guess we're just gonna have to wait to see what Alvarez has in store for us. I've watched Panic Attack several times since the announcement and, while I really love what he can do with an extremely limited amount of resources, I'm also kind of apprehensive at the prospect of an amateur stepping into the arena with the big boys. So...Fede Alvarez better step up and deliver a brilliant directing debut in order for this film to work.

4. Practical Gore SFX: This one's a no brainer. You have Gregory FUCKIN' Nicotero looking for something to do after his brilliant work on The Walking Dead. He also did the work on both Evil Dead 2 and Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness. Now, while he's been rumored to be a part of this imminent remake...nothing has been agreed on quite yet. So, there's a chance we might be getting a Nicotero-free Evil Dead  film. Either way...the filmmakers really need to stay as much away from the CGI stuff as they possibly can. Concentrating on the practical stuff that made the 80's such a legendary decade for the genre.

Now...don't get me wrong. Masterful-looking SFX can be achieved by carefully melding a combination of both practical and CGI...but, as evidenced by the recent The Thing  remake/prequel, it is important to make it all look real and not drop the proverbial fucking ball towards the final act of the film. So...the filmmakers need to secure Mr. Nicotero for this Evil Dead  remake...or it may very well end up sucking.

5. The Raimi/Campbell Factor: It is important to point out here that both Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi are on board as producers for this remake. However, how involved both men will be with the project remains to be seen. Mr. Campbell has stated in an interview that Ash will not be in the film...so, that's good. I could never imagine another actor stepping into that role made legendary by the Chin. And Raimi is currently shooting Oz: The Great and Powerful...so, it's tough to say how much input he has with the finished version of The Evil Dead. However, if they both sort of phone in their subsequent involvements...the film will surely suffer for it. It could very well be that both men are sort of passing the torch down to another capable group of filmmakers because they're just too busy with other projects. And they might actually have a valid bit of reasoning behind the whole thing if it ends up sucking bigtime. Because...if The Evil Dead remake is a failure, it might very well generate enough interest for the original filmmakers to reassemble and knock one more Evil Dead  film out of the ballpark.

However, I would like to propose the other side of that argument. Because if the remake ends up being fucking awesome...that might ensure other entries into that alternate universe and keep the momentum flowing for one hell of a crossover involving the old world with the new world that might be pretty goddamn mind blowing. Perhaps the new generation meets up with Ash and they all battle the deadites. That's enough of a reason to put as much energy as you possibly can into this remake, guys. I'm talking to the both of you, Sam and Bruce. So...in order to make this new Evil Dead remake not suck a horrible kind of suck...we need Raimi's/Campbell's final say on everything.

So, there you have it. If the filmmakers happen upon our little Film Deviant site...there's 5 easy ways to ensure that we will have a good experience with this new remake. I'm not fully convinced one way or the other. But, I will say that any new trip into the Evil Dead  universe is a welcomed trip in my book. The franchise is three for three, so far....so, it does have an impeccable track record. And even if this new remake ends up sucking ostrich penis...at least we can hope that it gives the Raimi brothers enough time to finish the Evil Dead 4 script that they started years ago. Or perhaps the Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash film will gain momentum.

In the meantime, I hope you guys were able to pick up the 25th Anniversary Blu-ray edition of Evil Dead 2 that just came out...in which to enjoy the film at its absolute best. Because...there's no substitute for the perfection of the original.

Thanks for reading,