Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Classic Review: Diary of the Dead (2007)



The fucking hatred I have spawned for this slice of shitcake, George A. Romero tried to pass off as a film perplexes the mind. Never have I felt such painful disappointment for a movie I went into with such mediocre expectations. I felt as if I would've had a better time being ass-raped by Peter North followed by an endless cumshot to the forehead. At least I would've had a story to tell my friends..............................maybe not.

The film began rather interestingly enough prompting me to DVR the rest of it for a later viewing, due to my nodding off during this very captivating film. So, upon finally watching the movie (after my third attempt) I realized something extremely painful.....I would never in my life....ever....get those 95 minutes back. Fuck. What kind of method Mr. Romero chooses to create his films these days is beyond me. He does get fans that love his work, though.....I found a reviewer on the IMDB site for this movie that rated it a 10/10 and even had the nerve to call it "a very impressive achievement" before subsequently swallowing big George's semen. Seems he would get some kind of praise from die hard Romero fluffers if he simply vomited into a paper bag and sold it in glossy DVD slip cases.

What a waste of masterful talent.

I recently watched Night of the Living Dead the other day and thought to myself.....what a masterpiece of a movie that stands the test of time from a young director with enormous talent whom these days would make me smile to myself if I read in the USA Today that he suffered a long painful death during a freak warthog stampede. I absolutely cannot fully put it into plain words my fiery hatred for this "movie".


 
Diary of the Dead can go suck on a silver-back gorilla's flea-infested left testicle.
 
0 out of 10
 
Thanks for reading,
 
bryan. 2008

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