Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Classic Review: The Unborn (2009)



What you see up above is a theatrical poster for the movie The Unborn. Perhaps one of the best movie posters I've seen in quite a long time. It captures perfectly the timeless weaving of both sexy and creepy all in one poster. You might say that The Unborn definitely brought sexy back into the movie poster genre. I might go so far as to say that this movie poster is among the best I've seen all year. That said......

The movie sucked on all possible levels (save the scenes with Odette skimpin' around in her panties). This movie sucked so hard...I felt as if David S. Goyer reached through the screen, punched me hard in the solar-plexus, stole my lunch money, painted cherry-red lipstick on me, tea-bagged me for an hour and a half then left me sitting there. I even watched the unrated version along with the deleted scenes in hopes of something enjoyable..........more tea-baggin'.

I would say the only merits the movie had goin' for it was its glossy look and slick special effects...all courtesy of the Platinum Dunes production company that Mr. Michael Bay spearheads.
 
 
 
As a fan of horror film...I beg you not to waste your valuable time with this excruciatingly inept attempt at horror film. Do not rent it. Do not DVR it. Do not queue it. Do not even think of it. This is an entity that should just be forgotten entirely. Except for...of course...the panties.
 
10 for movie poster.
 
-1,000,000 for worst horror film of the year.
 
Thanks for reading,
 
bryan. 2009

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